I have decided i want to start up my blog again we will see how well that goes im going to try and post once a week. lets see if i can come up with something good :)

Stuck in a rut

I have sucked beyond belief latly and not only blogging. I want to write about happy things on my blog so i can reflect back and show my kids one day what we did while they were growing up. I am so lucky i am able to stay home with them but right now i feel like its almost impossible to do anything. Its more work to get them ready, pack them up, put them in the car, go somewhere unload, do what we wanna do for 45 min untill the twins get winy and i have to take them home! I am just venting and i really am not a complaining bitch all of the time but i have been so depressed and unhappy with things and i know i am the only one who can fix it but we found out my gram past away on saturday night so we have been dealing with that. IT SUCKS! I loved her and she was my favorite gram i spent every weekend there as a child plus most of my summers. It was a sad sudden loss and im just trying to get through the last wake tonight and the funeral tommrow.

Overwhelmed

The party we had at our house went surprisingly well. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off while dinner was being served, and actually before that because we were getting ready for dinner but then were also doing the christening before we ate. So it was a little hectic for me. My mans grandfather is an Epispicol Priest so he performed the christening right in our driveway. It took me a week to get my house back in order after the party but I think that is because i was exhausted the day after the party.

This past weekend I worked my Relay for Life benefit held in my town. I was a chairperson and Relay for Life is apart of the American Cancer Society. This was also very tiring but its a good cause and I am happy to be associated with it. We have a wedding to go to this weekend which will be fun, but hubby is also adding more to his plate and doing some roofing jobs. Its so hard cause he works his ass off at his job and he could have it so much easier if he used his degree he worked so hard for and got a job in that field.

I hate being such a downer but I have really been feeling shitty latly. I have put on 10 pounds in the last 2-3 months which means I have no clothes that fit me well or that I even feel good in. The twins are running me down, I feel like I am always trying to keep up but can never get ahead. I want to be a good mom and I try so hard but when you have 2 crying babies climbing on you literally, and then Little T is asking for a drink I just want to bust out in tears and the bust out the door and leave by myself for a day!

Ok Ok enough of my bitching. Here are some pics from the party, I should have given someone my camera to take pictures I didnt have many and I didnt even get pictures of the Christening!



Cake Time ( a little blurry sorry)

Someone is not happy

The birthday boys with their papa
You cant see it too well but i got them shirts that say 1st Birthday!

This is the lamb we roasted on the spit, hubbys step dad (above papa)did it!
Ironicly the program hubs grandfather put together had a baby lamb on it!

hiatus

I have been on a little Vaca from blogging. Only because i am preparing for the First Birthday slash Christening for my baby twins! : ( Except they are bigger and not so much babys anymore.
Anyway we are cleaning and organizing and getting the house ready for 100 of our closest friends and family. Yeah i know im nuts, but people tell me that all the time.

My period is coming right?

That time of the month is on its way. I mean that is the only excuse I have for why I have been feeling like the most selfish bitch lately. I feel like the most crazy misunderstood alien there is out there. OK maybe that's going a little to far but I feel like I should be in a good mood with the weather getting nicer and everything. Its so hard sometimes I am home all day long ALONE with the kids, and I feel like its friggen groundhog day cause I do the same thing all day everyday. I was thinking of having someone come here two days a week or so to give me and the kids both a break from each other. But I don't even know what i would do! I am such a loser, and a whiner I should be happy I get to stay home with my kids and raise them. I Just need a break. Thank God my man is taking his vacation next week so I can sneak off to go get my hair cut and a pedicure, Er i mean so we can prepare for our upcoming party!

Just some pictures

22

Today is my 22 birthday. The Twins are napping Little Guy is eating, my house is a mess from the weekend (even though we were barly home, how that happens ill never know) And were going out to dinner tommrow cause my Lover is working late tonight.

Last year I was pregnant with the twins on my birthday, like almost 9 months preg. Haha i think i was sitting up in bed trying to sleep with heart burn so bad my throat was raw from being burned. Birthdays have always been fun, even if it wasnt celebrated on the actual day I didnt care. Now that Im a mom of 3 its about the kids i honestly dont care if we do nothing. I love my family and want to be with them. I know 22 isnt even old at all, i feel old but not in age. I think i am now realizing how much faster i had to grow up then others. Again not complaining I love my life, my family and my friends. Its just hard to relate to others sometimes. At Little Guys school i am by far the youngest mom, everyones really nice its just hard to relate. A few of my friends have children, but they only have one, and those friends are even older then me. I have 3, people are always schocked to hear it and say "God bless you", or "How do you do it?!" and I even get some "You must be Crazy!".

But Really I am just glad to have made it another year, especially this year. I get tears in my eyes thinking that the twins will be One Year old in two weeks. It was a rough one, but it was a good one.