Stuck in a rut

I have sucked beyond belief latly and not only blogging. I want to write about happy things on my blog so i can reflect back and show my kids one day what we did while they were growing up. I am so lucky i am able to stay home with them but right now i feel like its almost impossible to do anything. Its more work to get them ready, pack them up, put them in the car, go somewhere unload, do what we wanna do for 45 min untill the twins get winy and i have to take them home! I am just venting and i really am not a complaining bitch all of the time but i have been so depressed and unhappy with things and i know i am the only one who can fix it but we found out my gram past away on saturday night so we have been dealing with that. IT SUCKS! I loved her and she was my favorite gram i spent every weekend there as a child plus most of my summers. It was a sad sudden loss and im just trying to get through the last wake tonight and the funeral tommrow.